I signed up for Steam.

I say that as if it’s a resignation, as if I’ve been trying to avoid it and just wasn’t strong enough to do so any longer.

That’s not really the case. I have no problem with Steam. In fact, I know very little about it, other than when I first looked into it, I knew two things:

1)It was intimidating as hell (I have no idea why, though, because it’s a very user-friendly site.)

2)I would damn myself to a life of poverty if I joined.

…

I hear they say you get used to eating cheap canned food for every meal…

And now, if you’re even remotely interested in games, I’m going to damn you, too, because it wasn’t just a lack of willpower that finally put my name in the Steam database – it was finding out that until May 24th, you can download Portal for free. (Click those words, it’s a link.)

Now some of you might be saying, WTF Dev, you don’t already have Portal? What kind of gamer are you claiming to be? Jesus.

I’m claiming to be the kind of gamer who doesn’t have or want an Xbox or Orange Box or, before now, a Steam account.

Rag on me for it after you explain to me why you don’t play any games older than your seven year old brother.

Anyway, this isn’t the point. Did you not read that sentence above? Portal is free. For a limited time. Who says no to free excellent games? Stupid people. Don’t be stupid. Download Portal while you can. Even if you never plan on playing it. Even if you hated it. (What are you, nuts?) There is no reason to say no to this.

Now I have to remember I need to say no to other titles that aren’t free if I want to eat ever again…Sigh.